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Thursday, December 20, 2018

Ugh.

I’m so over 2018.

Since the day I got home from my trip to the U.K., my life has gone down the toilet. I got some wicked nasty bug I’m guessing while I was out and about the day before we left London that hit me in the plane. Oh, and I sprained my ankle in Edinburgh. Badly. Had to walk on it for like 4 days before I got home and was able to treat it. Yeah... that was fun.

The absolute worst part of this year came three days after I got home. September 27. I got a nasty inner ear infection in both my ears. Yeah, I took antibiotics and the infection cleared up. The pain, however, did not. I went to the ENT and he was concerned, so he had me do a hearing test. I’ve lost some of my hearing in both ears due to nerve damage caused by the infection. Nerve damage is permanent. The pain is caused by the nerves still dying inside my ears. Best part: it’s progressive, so I’ll lose about half my hearing. I got a second opinion. He said the same thing. 

So I’m not in a very good place right now. Sure, it’s not too bad right now, but it will be. So, yeah... that’s my last few months. It’s been a while since I’ve written, but my new therapist wants me to start up again. We'll see how it goes. 

Friday, April 6, 2018

Cranky Pants

Go away.

Story: I’ve had a problem since last June (ooh, mystery). Well, I went to doctor after doctor and none of them could figure out what was wrong. Then, clarity. I had the thought that one of my meds could be causing it. I called the pharmacist and she confirmed my suspicion. This particular med can, indeed, cause this issue.

I brought this to my med manager yesterday. She doubled one of my meds to make up for cutting the problematic med. So now I take the one morning and night. Genius me forgot to take said med this morning. With the other one cut significantly down, I’m not anywhere near where I’d like to be. I’m cranky, to put it nicely. I’m biting at the nice people, and I feel just plain miserable.

I haven’t felt this bad in over a year, before my meds were all sorted. Why do the meds that work have to have the worst side effects? Oh yeah... I react to everything. If it’s got side effects, you can bet I’ll get the worst ones. How am I supposed to stay stable when my meds try to kill me?

Now I just have to hope that taking another med twice a day helps as much as the other one did. I’m not holding my breath. Prayers and good vibes now being accepted!

Monday, January 1, 2018

The Struggle Is Real

I’m ready to have this stop now...

First off, Happy New Year! 

Now, to my story...

I’ve been manic now for over two months. It’s driving me nuts and I can honestly not understand why people enjoy this. Each day that drags on makes me more and more cranky. Everything gets on my nerves. Today was no different.

Since it’s a holiday, my mom had the day off. We sat around all morning watching NCIS on Netflix (for like the twelfth time...). You can imagine how thrilling that was to someone with the attention span of an oh look, squirrel! We were planning on going to a movie, but that wasn’t until one o’clock. By that time, I was ready to pull my hair out.

So we get to the theatre and find out that the movie we wanted to see was sold out. Last nerve=snapped. Alternate plans were made. My parents and I went to Barnes and Noble. I found a couple of new books (which I don’t have room for). On the way home, we stopped at Wendy’s for a snack. There’s a guy who works there that my father has a major man-crush on. See, my dad thinks he’s hilarious and that he must be so every minute of every day. My mom and I have learnt to ignore him, but new people haven’t heard his same old jokes a million times, so he takes advantage of the opportunity to annoy me. I mean, joke with them... which annoys me, so yeah. So he and this kid were talking/joking while I’m ready to punch them both.

By that time, I was ready to come home and put on my jammies. Problem: all my jammies are dirty so I had to do laundry. More NCIS until dinner. More annoyance at dinner. I’d finally had it, so I grabbed my set of Harry Potter and popped in Half-Blood Prince and grabbed a Diet Coke. Still no jammies, but at least I’ve got my favourite distraction!

I started a higher dose of my downer, but that doesn’t seem to be helping. I’ll be asking my med manager if I can quit one of my uppers next... But anyhow, if I’m cranky or if I snap at you, don’t take it personally. I’m going thru hell right now and you could get caught in the crossfire.